Once more unto the blog dear friends, once more. 😒

.    Mondays are always a good place to begin, especially if that beginning causes a lot of pain. I began this blog a while ago, and it's still exists despite my feudal attempts at seeking meaning through it. I'm pretty sure that I am only returning to it so that my brain can be occupied with something productive. I have found that being left to my own thoughts instantly directs me to dark places to which I cannot afford to return. I have no idea about what to write in this so I'm just going to make it an attempt to vent all of my verbal diarrhea and mental vomit. 

     I have yet to develop a goal for this coming year. But I think that will be my goal from now until December 31st. I have so many negative thoughts pumping in and out of my brain that I need somewhere to vent them. If left untreated, then they rot, fester, and bubble forth into my life like foul pockets of stagnant shit bubbling out of an old septic tank.

     I cannot change the septic tank, its contents, or their smell. I can only hope to allow the built up stench away to escape from me into the void of nothingness that is the internet. I am fairly certain that these words will go unheard, and for that I am grateful.

     I made it my goal, a long time ago, to go gently into this. Good night. This is not a retreat or a resignation. This is merely a positive realization of what will be.

     It is also a fleeting hope of mine that these words might inspire someone and as desperate a situation as I find myself to become active and avoid the utter void in which I have found myself.

     However, I am not so immature. I only hope that this venting will help myself. I know that it is too much for me to think of myself in a position of being able to help others.

    So, with this happy note, I'll make these a weekly routine. If, however, I find this to be truly relieving, then it's me resurface with more frequency.