TIMBER!!

We've all heard the question, "If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then does it really make a sound?"

     Well, while I am not sure about trees and their sounds, I am fairly certain that when I fall it does make a sound, in fact, several. Here's a brief rundown of what happened when I fell just a few days ago, described by the 'sounds' that were heard. 

• First, there is the creaking whine of my hand brakes on my rollator as I try, desperately and in vain, to halt my movement just long enough to regain my balance.
• Second, comes the hissing sound of the locked wheels of my rollator as it revolts and continues to slide across the linoleum floor, taking me to my, "Event horizon."
• Then comes the barrage of, sometimes R-rated, words shouted as the realization hits me: I'm falling.
• Next, there is the resounding, "Thud!" My body hits the floor and I try to convince everyone that, "I'm OK."
• Finally, there comes a little, "Thump, thump thump," of a three year old hoping that mommy's home, followed by a revelation: "Daddy's on the floor!"

     I do not think that I would have minded falling as much, if I had only managed to fall nearer to a couch, or a chair, or even a bed low enough to allow me some leverage to regain my feet. Rather, I fell in the middle of the kitchen: slippery floors, smooth walls, and no furniture. Four hours later, I was back on my feet. Well, it wasn't just four hours of me simply trying to stand. It was four hours of: grunting, cursing, praying, bargaining, shouting, more cursing, and one embarrassingly vulgar twitter rant. But, I did make it to my feet, 'counter walked' to my rollator, and promptly took a nap. 

Insights I gained from this fall:

• I need to be patient. If I hadn't been in such a hurry to get to the kitchen, to get to my scooter, to get to my van so I could go to my chair yoga class, then I probably wouldn't have lost my balance.
• I need to take things one step at a time. Look at the above list. 
• I need to do a better job cleaning the kitchen floor. Being face down on an old linoleum floor really opens one's eyes. 😏

     So, I'm back on my, well back to using my walker until I fall again, which probably will inspire me to visit the seating clinic at Shepherd. 

Until then, adieu.