Looking Back

The Last Word

     I began this year with one goal: Write one poem a week for the entire year, using predetermined topics and genres, about different aspects of my life with this MesS, also called Multiple Sclerosis. I am not sure how seriously I can take these textbook examples of doggerel, but without further hesitation, here is the last.

So, now a year has come and gone.

This collection is almost done.

Poems for a year,

Giving me a clear

And sincere

Denouement.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

To My Dear And Loving Wife

My Wife

She stayed with me through so much strife.

She helps me see a better life,

And lets my strength grow!

So, let the world know,

my love show,

For my wife!

With Friends Like These . .

Amigos, Buddies, Pals, Friends

While some of my friends from the past,
Through this progression, might not last,
Others will stay near,
Unshaken by fear.
And sincere
Holding fast.

New Month, New Poems

Clogyrnach

     So, for the final month, I have chosen the clogyrnach, a Welsh style adequately fits 'winding down'. So, here is the first of the last.

It has many different faces,

Arriving from different places:

Mind, body, or heart.

With a random start,

Like a dart,

Pain races.

Just Gimme Two (more) Steps

Walking

My steps are now forsaken.

So that hope will soon appear,

Resolve remains unshaken.

My want to walk is sincere.

(Josh Evitt, 2019)

I wish there was a Chill one.

Pills

Symptoms might need prescriptions,

Or meds that are bought retail

All with unique descriptions,

Symptoms I hope to curtail.

(Josh Evitt, 2019)

The Only Spaghetti I Don't Like

😱Atlanta Traffic😱

A source of much frustration

And it will never relent.

This is the trip’s damnation:

Rush hour’s trail of pure torment.

(Josh Evitt, 2019)

Playing Catch Up

Lazy

     So, I slacked off a bit. Here's the last few weeks all in one.

Infusions

Putting meds in my veins,

Soothing some pains

Sitting still all day

As time flies away

The new med is here

And its process is clear

Six hours to wait

There is no debate

Frustrations

Can’t walk anymore

Afraid of the floor

My right hand can't write

My left hand is a fight

My legs often ‘dance’

I rarely wear long pants

For, when summer begins,

I retreat inside, and MS wins

Predictions

It will progress,

And bring distress,

But I will fight

All through this night

An Immoveable Object

An Irresistible Force

Debilitating relapses

Ignite my desire to

Stay hidden from a world which

Always reminds me of what I’ve lost.

But I refuse to keep myself cloistered,

Languidly wasting away in my wheelchair.

Each day greets me with greater challenges, yet

Despite my failures, I will keep living!

A Helping Hand

Admit It

Help is now needed for so many simple tasks,

And admitting weakness is never easy.

Nevertheless, my pride has been broken.

Deciding to accept this label, I did not fully understand

Its ‘other’ names and how with one tag on my mirror,

Crippled, weak, suffering, pitiful, among others, would cling.

As each day progresses, I am faced with

Problems that snowball into more disastrous

Problems, attempting to keep me in the house.

Each day brings a new set of challenges

Daring me not to live my life.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

Do You Feel Me?

Numbness

A symptom of multiple sclerosis:

A loss of feeling throughout my body.

I have been living with this neurosis

And a weakened sense of what touches me.

On most days I will find myself nearly

Dropping anything that I try to hold.

I miss tactile feeling so dearly.

But 'meds' and OT help keep it controlled.

It won’t relent, even as I grow old

Scars, bruises also bring testimony

To how powerfully numbness can hold

Me in its icy grip of larceny.

Despite this theft, I will still live my life.

I will be there for my children and wife.

I'll Drink To That

Bottoms Up
or
Down the Hatch
or 
Or hundreds of other ways to say, "Lets drink!"

To sit calmly and enjoy a good draft
Of beer sitting at home or at the bar,
While I savor the brew-master's craft. 
I think of the beers in my repertoire

Thanks to this MesS I more easily feel
Alcohol’s buzz as it enters my brain.
This allows me to handle the ordeal
By helping me see the fun through the pain.

Alcohol might be proof that God loves us.
The flavors and potency also show
Alcohol as a gift most generous,
And happily I let spirits flow.


There’s a hidden benefit in this MesS:
To feel a good buzz will cost me much less.

I still don't know it

     As the first month of 2018 comes to end, I have tried to keep up with my resolutions, and so far, I think that I am on track. But, now there is one final step that is rather embarrassing. I decided to share a poem about MS of my own creation each month. I have created poems in the past, maybe even shared them, but these are newly created for this year. My goal is to have a collection of twelve new poems about my life with this MesS. So, here is the first:

Changes 

My world has changed, grown.

There's now so much more to see.

In a dream, I wander aimlessly

To make improvements on my own.

I have set goals, will work tirelessly

To see them finished.

But, my ability is diminished

By this disease-inspired melancholy.

I have lost so much, but will rebuild

With a new found desire to achieve.

Forcing myself, once again, to believe,

I dedicate myself to seeing this dream fulfilled.

-Josh Evitt (2018)