A Helping Hand

Admit It

Help is now needed for so many simple tasks,

And admitting weakness is never easy.

Nevertheless, my pride has been broken.

Deciding to accept this label, I did not fully understand

Its ‘other’ names and how with one tag on my mirror,

Crippled, weak, suffering, pitiful, among others, would cling.

As each day progresses, I am faced with

Problems that snowball into more disastrous

Problems, attempting to keep me in the house.

Each day brings a new set of challenges

Daring me not to live my life.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

How Am I Doing?

Swimmingly

Less weight, freedom to move, escape from heat

Are all things which I enjoy, at the pool.

Water, so bright, so clear, and so cool

Renews my life with a feeling so sweet,

Refreshing me from my head to my feet.

Along with the comfort, it can be cruel.

Returning to land always drains my ‘fuel’

Leaving me like one who’s suffered defeat.

Despite the heat and the effort it takes,

I must refuse to keep living my life

In seclusion. I will boldly advance

Facing my fears and risk making mistakes.

I know that I will face a lot of strife,

But I must live each day, holding my stance.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

Fatigue/Lassitude

Lassitude

There are times when my energy is drained.

MS fatigue can strike out of nowhere,

Making me feel as if I have been chained

To this disease, injured beyond repair.

Fatigue raises its head, bringing despair

That I never will be free from this MesS.

At times I can barely steer my wheelchair,

Making clear just how far it can progress.

Fatigue also causes mental distress.

The worst part of fatigue impacts my brain,

Hindering the steps of my thought process,

Causing the ones I love to see my pain.

Due to fatigue, and the havoc it brought,

This fight cannot be won, but will be fought.

That Was Weak

Weakness And This MesS

Symptoms will continue their progression.

Basic tasks have become complicated,

As this weakness furthers my regression

Leaving me even more irritated.

Loss of strength often leaves me deflated,

With just barely enough ability

For minor tasks, leaving me frustrated

At my state of constant futility.

As weakness lessens my mobility,

I will refuse to sink into despair.

I will accept this disability,

And take my stance in a wheelchair.

I will not stop moving will not submit.

MS will lose this fight I will not quit.

-Josh Evitt 2019-

✱Note: Yes, I know this one stinks. I figured that it would fit the subject.✱

Respite, Holiday, Recreation, Intermission, Sabbatical

Take A Break

Vacations now require extensive

Plans. So that the dependability

Of my wheelchair will grant comprehensive

Preservation of my mobility

Now the time has come for a camping trip,

Always taken in the late Fall season.

Summer’s unbearable heat, I must skip.

Dodging Spring’s rain is the other reason.

I now can enjoy camping in a tent,

But there are still some dangers to avoid.

I don’t want my energy to be spent

On trifles and my endurance destroyed.

Yet, in spite of the work that is needed,

I enjoy vacations unimpeded.

Rub A Dub Dub, Never Getting In The Tub

Taking A Seat
(in the shower)

Taking no more baths-

Water must never be hot-

Using shower chairs.

Scrubbing with one hand

Used for balance when eyes close:

Proprioception

Simplicity helps:

Soap, shampoo, conditioner,

All in one bottle.

It's my greatest fear:

If I should fall while bathing-

Naked and need help.

At the shower's end

Taking longer to exit

Than the shower took.

The Mockery Continues

Canto III: Past medicines reviewed

He knew Tysabri was temporary;

Another med’s search became primary.

Fearing that the dreaded PML would rise,

Leaving Tysabri was not a surprise.

5 He spent that year searching for something to

Replace it. He then found one to rescue

Him: Tecfidera, once called BG-12.

Deep into this medicine did he delve.

He found anecdotes and many reports

10 Lauding it. Switching to it, his doctor also supports.

Tecfidera does its job well for a year,

Then the threat of PML did appear,

And another medicine was needed

So the pill Aubagio succeeded.

15 And it appeared appeared to be working.

Well.Yet another problem was lurking

Under the surface, waiting for its chance

To strike, allowing MS to advance.

Soon the cane became an obsolete tool,

20 And switched to a walker. Like an old fool

His steps were few and his falls severe.

All too quickly it was made very clear

That he could not drive, and he could not walk.

He met with his MS doctor to talk

25 About another medicine that could

Better slow this regression, doing good

Work and weakening its grip on is life. 

He hopes Rituxan will settle the strife.

Now, he waits six hours for it to cease

30 Infusing through his veins, the final piece.

-Josh Evitt 2019

New Year, New Goal, New Plan

My Plan

     I am not going to make any illustriously complicated plans. This past year has taught me that I STILL need to set reasonable goals. So, here's my plan: one poem per week. It might be funny, sad, serious, or boring. As I've stated before, "After examining the works of many a'master, I am a tasteless poetaster." 

Here is January's first limerick.

My Handicapped Van

I drive a handicapped automobile,

For I love how it makes me feel

To drive here and there without any a care,

But finding a parking spot is my, “Achilles’ Heel.”

-Josh Evitt 2019

Just Triceps Something New

Triceps

     The triceps really aren't that exciting. They're often overshadowed other muscles. Think of the stereotypical gym scene from a movie people: running, benching, flexing, and such. But, over the years, this MesS has shown me just how important this group is. From getting into my rollator's seat, to getting off of the commode, or getting out of bed, my arms are seemingly in a constant workout mode, and the group does the most are the triceps. So, here's a brief rundown of what I do on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays: 2 sets of 10 reps for each arm using blue (8 lbs.) resistance band. 

     At first I didn't have any resistance bands and just used a simple, three pound hand weight. When my physical therapist showed me how to use resistance bands it went much more fluidly. The bands are what I use now and in addition to being lighter in weight, there are other bonuses as well. It's less stressful when I fall, being easier to pull myself to my feet. Getting from my rollator to the toilet is easier because there is less trembling as my triceps are better at helping me keep still. The best result, however, has to be from being able to cook. As a career fat guy, cooking being curbed due to my inability to use a knife was a real downer. But now I am seeing some ability coming back.

All in all, it's tough, frustrating, but possible!

A basket? No, how about a skillet?

Baked Omelette Pie

     In keeping with my attempted resolution to drop gluten, at which I failed last night by having a piece of pizza, here's a wonderfully complex, but workable, recipe. Here is a link to the original recipe. This recipe calls for a cast iron skillet, but if you don't have one, a regular skillet can work, but be sure that it is able to be used in an oven up to 350° F (175°C). Below is my version of it with accommodations for this MesS.

Ingredients

1 large baking potato

6 eggs

1 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper

1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 onion, chopped

1/4 cup chopped red bell pepper

1/4 cup chopped fresh mushrooms

1/2 cup chopped ham

1 tomato, sliced

1/4 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

     I know it seems like a lot to do just to make something for breakfast, but I do have a few 'short cuts' that might make it easier to make it. 😏

• Instead of a large baking potato, consider a Yukon golden, or red skinned potato. They're smaller, cook faster, don't need to be peeled, and taste MUCH better.
• Instead of cracking six eggs, which for me is enough work to need a nap on some days, consider "Egg Beaters," or some other alternative. They have an added bonus of being a little healthier too.
• Slicing tomatoes always gives me fits. Trying to hold the tomato, slicing through, and NOT squishing it is never easy. Sometimes I just use canned tomatoes, or even sun dried. But be careful, with sun dried tomatoes a little goes a long way.

Directions

• Bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil. Add potato and cook until tender but still firm, about 15 minutes. Drain, cool, peel and slice.
• Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Beat together eggs, salt, pepper and parsley.
• In a cast iron skillet, heat olive oil over medium-high heat. Saute onion and red pepper until soft, then stir in mushrooms. When mushrooms start to shrink, add the chopped ham, potato and tomato slices. Pour in the egg mixture; gently stir to combine.
• Sprinkle cheese on top of eggs and place skillet in preheated oven. Bake until eggs are firm, about 10 to 15 minutes. Allow to cool briefly before serving.

It tastes wonderful, and leftovers make a good brunch or snack cold right from the fridge. Now, for some cheesy egg puns. 😜

"I went to the store today and bought some really oddly shaped eggs.

Now I can't find them.

I think they've been mislaid."

"What day to eggs hate the most?

Fry-day."

"How many French eggs do you need?

One egg is un oeuf."

"I was walking past the store today when I saw a sign saying, 'All items one-third off.'

So I bought a dozen eggs.

Unfortunately four of them were rotten."

There are a lot more here.

I still don't know it

     As the first month of 2018 comes to end, I have tried to keep up with my resolutions, and so far, I think that I am on track. But, now there is one final step that is rather embarrassing. I decided to share a poem about MS of my own creation each month. I have created poems in the past, maybe even shared them, but these are newly created for this year. My goal is to have a collection of twelve new poems about my life with this MesS. So, here is the first:

Changes 

My world has changed, grown.

There's now so much more to see.

In a dream, I wander aimlessly

To make improvements on my own.

I have set goals, will work tirelessly

To see them finished.

But, my ability is diminished

By this disease-inspired melancholy.

I have lost so much, but will rebuild

With a new found desire to achieve.

Forcing myself, once again, to believe,

I dedicate myself to seeing this dream fulfilled.

-Josh Evitt (2018)                                     

Renaissance

     Well, it's been a while, but I've mustered the energy to try to start this again. I figured that I should get back into this. But, about what should I write? I could discuss life hacks for MS, resources for  medicines, or try to find to find something inspirational in my life with this MesS, but all of these present me with a dilemma: my life just isn't that interesting. So, I've decided on, as I thought about this failed blog over that last two months, that I am simply going to write pursuant to my 2017 resolution and not plan ahead. I have been following one other blog, and there is no way I could ever conceive of writing that well.

Fireworks, Beer, Burgers, and FREEDOM!!

     Well, the fourth of July is approaching, and as is usual in the south, I hear fireworks going off from all over my neighborhood. Am I going to participate? Probably not, rather I am going to sit in my air conditioning and chill. Will I go to some fireworks? I might, if there are still any planned. But on the whole, I prefer to remain cool, well, cool as in temperature. I was always a nerd. 😀
     But, in dealing with the festivities around the United States' birthday, here are my 'hacks' for staying cool:
➤Pay attention to the weather. If you need to cool off, then do so.

➤Enjoy some patriotic beer, just drink responsibly.

➤Don't try to be too macho. If you gotta go, then go.

➤Be safe around: sparklers, fireworks, and other 'explosives'.

Happy 4th of July!

Therapy. . . again

     So, I am getting ready to start physical therapy again. Yahoo, sort of, I get to deal with the pain, the aches, and the unknown. . . the whole 'shuh bang'. I've taken this week to plan out what exactly I want to do with physical therapy. When I first was in PT, my doctor set the goals for me, but the previous time the therapist asked me what my goals were, and I had none. I honestly thought, "How can I know what therapy I need? I'm the cripple." Then, after some research, I realized that I need to take a more active role in my PT. So, here's my set of goals for PT this time around.

• Work on, "Floor Transfer"
  When I fall, it is never a quick and easy rebound. If I am lucky enough to fall near a chair, couch, or my bed, then it'll only take a mere 15 minutes to get back to my feet. But, when I fall with only my walker nearby, I am at a loss of what steps I can take to get my steps back. On average, it takes me from 30 minutes to almost a full hour before I am back on my feet.
  
• Work on using a 'full walker'
  Right now, I use a rollator: a walker with four wheels, hand brakes, and a chair. My particular rollator also doubles as a transport chair. I have a lot of trouble, however, throwing my weight to lift my legs because the rollator's seat gets in the way.
  
• Develop a better way of 'walking'
  Right now, I am basically rambling through my trying to walk. I want to know if there's a better way to try and move.
  
• Explore using a manual wheelchair
  I have also started to think that, with my recent falls, driving with hand controls, and my scooter having such a big turning radius that it's difficult to use inside most buildings, I should look at moving into a manual wheelchair for shorter 'walks'