Not Going ANYWHERE

ACROSTICS are done!

     This is the last Acrostic pseudo-poem, thank God. I'm not going to try this one in a long time.

Part of my life,

Each day filled with strife,

Relapses and more,

Medicines galore,

And now a wheelchair,

Needed everywhere,

Enables me to

Nimbly move through

This life with MS.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

An Immoveable Object

An Irresistible Force

Debilitating relapses

Ignite my desire to

Stay hidden from a world which

Always reminds me of what I’ve lost.

But I refuse to keep myself cloistered,

Languidly wasting away in my wheelchair.

Each day greets me with greater challenges, yet

Despite my failures, I will keep living!

A Helping Hand

Admit It

Help is now needed for so many simple tasks,

And admitting weakness is never easy.

Nevertheless, my pride has been broken.

Deciding to accept this label, I did not fully understand

Its ‘other’ names and how with one tag on my mirror,

Crippled, weak, suffering, pitiful, among others, would cling.

As each day progresses, I am faced with

Problems that snowball into more disastrous

Problems, attempting to keep me in the house.

Each day brings a new set of challenges

Daring me not to live my life.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

Clean Month! Move Down!

September's Here

With the arrival of a new moth also comes a new genre of poem. Each poem this month will have a very specific similarity. Can you find it?

Delving into a few bizarre events,
I sought out a doctor who could make sense
And give a name to this problem I fought,
Giving me hope that a cure could be sought.
Neurologists thought a nerve had been pinched,
Off to a surgeon, who at numbness flinched,
Suspecting a thing far more hideous.
Its name is now truly insidious.
Such is life with, "Multiple Sclerosis."

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

New Month, New Style

Blank Verse

Why would starting August with blank verse will be tough?

1. Lack of rhyme requires much more emphasis on meter. This not free verse.
2. It will rely heavily on imagery that is used properly.
3. It can easily turn into simple narrative jargon.

*NOTE* For the rest of the month I decided just to make one long poem. Here's the result.* 

MS transformed so much of what I am,

Regressing my life like an inverted

Caterpillar, seeking to hide once more

Within a safe cocoon, sheltered from life

With this rancid disease seeking solace,

Dodging interaction with all others,

Happy to waste away in solitude.

Things that once were easy have now become

Difficult at best, impossible at

Worst. Many things that I loved to do are

Gone, never to return, while others will

Never appear. Despite MS there have

Also been some benefits from the MesS.

From the Shepherd Center, to my facebook

Friends who struggle with this vile disease: MS.

I have received help from many people,

Joining me as I fight MS’ symptoms,

And I have so much to be thankful for:

From my dear family to all my friends.

They have stayed with me through the highs and lows.

Do I want my life to improve? Of course!

But there are things that will only degrade.

A pebble rolls down the side of a hill

With others it becomes an avalanche.

As symptoms rise and fall, I must remain

Determined to live my life with MS.

Changes are made to how I do most things,

From dressing to eating, bathing and more

I have learned that I can’t ignore MS.

Living my life with this disease I choose

Acceptance of this life, never hiding.

Each day with this disease is a struggle.
Often I face the fact that I will lose.
Crippled, broken, and weak, I hide away
From the world around me seeking solace
From my life with MS and its symptoms.
This misery does NOT love company.
Like a hermit, I choose to keep silent
As the stress of multiple sclerosis
Festers within my heart, wreaking havoc
On my moods, on my thoughts, sinking deeper
Into the crore of my very being.
Symptoms rise and abilities will fall
MS changes without warning, dragging
Me through the memories of what MS
Has taken from me, leaving me empty,
Like an empty balloon, going nowhere.
Walking, running, swimming, and soon driving
Are all things that are now mere memories.
My dream career: teaching in a classroom,
Sharing my love of words with my students,
Are now memories which I am losing.
But I have found some ways through which I can
Regain a small semblance of what I’ve lost.
Boring poems help me release some angst,
And research projects can give me a voice.
Surveys, meetings, discussion boards and more
Provide me with a chance to share and learn.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

Exercises In Futility?

Futile? No!

It is good for me to go to the gym,
This MesS took so much from my life, yet I
Won’t allow myself to stop. I must try
To keep MS at bay, working each limb,
with the goal of again becoming trim.
Symptoms often cause things to go awry,
Draining my vital energy supply,
Leaving my hopes for fitness dark and dim.

Despite how much symptoms revolt, I must
Remain faithful to my goal of losing
Weight and continuing to gain more strength.
At times symptoms might force me to adjust
What exercises I will be choosing.
Helping me to live with MS at length.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

How Am I Doing?

Swimmingly

Less weight, freedom to move, escape from heat

Are all things which I enjoy, at the pool.

Water, so bright, so clear, and so cool

Renews my life with a feeling so sweet,

Refreshing me from my head to my feet.

Along with the comfort, it can be cruel.

Returning to land always drains my ‘fuel’

Leaving me like one who’s suffered defeat.

Despite the heat and the effort it takes,

I must refuse to keep living my life

In seclusion. I will boldly advance

Facing my fears and risk making mistakes.

I know that I will face a lot of strife,

But I must live each day, holding my stance.

-Josh Evitt, 2019-

Back And Forth

Spasticity

There are times when my nerves cannot function

In the correct manner. Muscles are ‘told’

To act in a way that is not controlled,

Flexing, contracting, a huge malfunction,

Causing, for me, a major dysfunction:

Spasticity! It strikes, and in its hold,

Bringing me much closer to the threshold

Of what I endure from this malfunction.

Spasticity hits unexpectedly.

Whether getting out of my bed, the van,

Or adjusting my feet in my wheelchair,

I can only observe, dejectedly

As my legs bounce,but I can use my plan

Physical therapy helped me prepare.

-Josh Evitt 2019-

Too Hot For You?

Get Me Out of The Kitchen

     Before  I share the next poem, I had to share: Burning, a song from my cousin's band Scattergun. This fairly accurately describes how I think summer sound would if it had a song for me. You'll need Spotify to hear it.

Heat

As the summer rages, the heat will rise
Forcing me to remain within the walls
Of my cooler home and wait for the fall’s
Relief. As the summer terrorizes,
I hide inside, the heat brutalizes,
Symptoms transform into horrendous squalls,
As each symptom, with renewed power, crawls
Through my body, as it terrorizes.

In spite of the summer’s increasing heat,
I must remain active and live my life,
Trying to retain some form of control
In my life. I will not admit defeat.
I will continue to fight through this strife,
Keeping despair from entering my soul.

The Stupidity Of

Humidity

When the pressure in the atmosphere soars,

Multiple sclerosis’ symptoms reply,

And their agony starts to multiply.

Feeding my desire to stay indoors.

Even inside, with the AC, sweat pours

From my body, no matter how much I

Remain inside with the AC. “Goodbye,”

I bid to the days of playing outdoors.

I spend my summers hidden inside

My house, nestled safely with the AC.

I am so sick of this stupidity!

Cool air only helps me as I abide 

Summer that now holds more misery.

Such is my life with this humidity.