I still don't know it

     As the first month of 2018 comes to end, I have tried to keep up with my resolutions, and so far, I think that I am on track. But, now there is one final step that is rather embarrassing. I decided to share a poem about MS of my own creation each month. I have created poems in the past, maybe even shared them, but these are newly created for this year. My goal is to have a collection of twelve new poems about my life with this MesS. So, here is the first:

Changes 

My world has changed, grown.

There's now so much more to see.

In a dream, I wander aimlessly

To make improvements on my own.

I have set goals, will work tirelessly

To see them finished.

But, my ability is diminished

By this disease-inspired melancholy.

I have lost so much, but will rebuild

With a new found desire to achieve.

Forcing myself, once again, to believe,

I dedicate myself to seeing this dream fulfilled.

-Josh Evitt (2018)                                     

Get Your Head In The Game

Meditation

Mindfulness

Introspection

     We've all heard about meditation and it's benefits to this MesS. But, I never really understood it, even now that I have started trying it. At the beginning of this year I started seeing a psychologist to help we with some building anger issues that began to creep out. 

• Getting angry at the drop of a hat
• Swearing A LOT
• Catching myself saying the most hateful things

     So, at my wife's request, I began seeing a therapist and was introduced to the concept of, "Mindfulness." Yes, it pretty much is just guided meditation, but it is also really difficult to do with the end result being much more of a tolerable person. 

The steps which were presented to me are:

• Find a quiet place
• Focus on breathing
• Empty thoughts
• Eventually bring one's mind back to the present.

     This seemed all well and good until I tried it. I keep on spend the most time thinking, obsessively, about how much I've failed. I am going to keep at it, but not solo. I have created a playlist of just one song that repeats a few times. It's a song that is purely instrumental, calming. 

     I have also begun looking, my doctor's suggestion, at a website called Headspace. It's an interesting site, and if you're in my situation of wanting to practice 'mindfulness', then feel free to check it out.

Here is my 'mindfulness' song.

Bye-ceps

     Well, this past weekend was fun. Fun as in I slipped out of my shower chair, missed my handrail, and then sliced my toe open as my feet slid into the vent cover. But there was a silver lining to this embarrassing cloud. Beginning around December of last year, I noticed that my falls had become more frequent and more crippling. I began to accept that whenever I would fall that it'll now just take me anywhere from 2 - 3 hours to get back to my feet. Needless to say, apathy started to fester.

      But, after working with a really good physical therapist on developing a routine for falling, exercises to help bolster my wobbly legs, and ways to 're-wire' how my arms work, I have been able to improve my recovery time. A few weeks ago I had a leg-extension spasm, similar to the one that caused me to wreck my car, and fell out of my rollator's chair in the middle of the kitchen floor. I used my arms and pulled myself across the kitchen and into the dinning room. I was actually able to lift myself into a chair, I call it my 'fall chair', and rest until I could return to my feet and wall-walk back to my walker. Then, just a few days ago, I fell getting out of the shower. I tripped on my shower chair and gravity took over. But, I was able to crawl out of the bathroom to my bed and lift myself to my feet by 'climbing' up the bed. Then, today after my shower I was able to take a shower without needing to my usual routine:

1. Sit on shower chair
2. Move to toilet
3. Lift shower chair into shower
4. Reverse to exit shower

I was able to move my chair to the shower without stopping at the toilet and didn't need to use my chair to exit the bathroom! Physical therapy can help, and especially in this case: Biceps.

     I wanted to highlight biceps this time because mine are rather lacking. I use a walker in the house a large mobility scooter elsewhere. So, I have stopped needing my arms as much as I thought, but this year I am keeping up with my PT routine of working arms and I am noticing some improvements when I have to pull myself up to a sitting position or off of the floor. Here's the big secret: I don't do it every day. 

     Biceps fall on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. I only do two simple sets of ten reps on each arm. For weight, I started with a small, green resistance band, about 2 lbs. worth. Now I have begun using a tougher band, five lbs. resistance, and hope to eventually move to a 10 lb. weight. Who knows. 

Deliciously Vichyssoise

     In keeping with my attempt to lower the impact that I make on the ground, losing weight, I have embarked on a trial of going gluten free. Now, I am not severely going gluten free, as some have to do for health reasons (i.e., celiac disease). I am not going this extreme for two main reasons. First, I do not have Celiac Disease, so I do not have an aversion to gluten. Second, I know that if I try to go full blown, zero gluten I will: get bored, become frustrated, and then quit. But, I am going to try a gluten free recipe and share it along with any extrapolations I have come across or improvised.
     So, here is the first: Vichyssoise, or leek and potato soup. It can be a very simple or a highly complicated recipe, depending on how much of a stickler for following recipes you are.  Now, this might seem like it is very difficult, but there are some aspects that make it easier for those of us with limited mobility.

• It only uses one pot. Since there is no grease to be drained, meats to be separated, or cooked things to add later, this entire recipe can be cooked in one big pot.
  
• It is easy to supplement some the 'pricier' ingredients with just one simple one. See the notes in RED.
  
• It tastes REALLY GOOD! - Fat guys know what tastes good. The proof is in the pudginess.

Ingredients

• 4 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 
  
• 1 1/2 pounds trimmed leeks (Clean and slice a leek) I also add an onion, sliced, for extra flavor.
• 
  
• 2 teaspoons kosher salt, plus more to taste
• 
  
• 1 1/4 pounds Yukon Gold potatoes, peeled, cut into eighths (any potato will work, but Yukon Golds are the best.)
• 
  
• 3 cups chicken or vegetable broth, or more as needed to adjust thickness

• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1/2 cup creme fraiche
• (to make it simpler, I just use 1-2 cups of buttermilk)
• 
  
• 1 pinch cayenne pepper (optional)
• Chopped fresh chives for garnish
• *An added ingredient that I also use is good cheddar cheese, grated and stirred into the soup while hot.*

Directions

1. Melt butter in soup pot over medium-high  heat. Add leeks and salt; cook until leeks begin to wilt. Reduce heat to medium or medium-low and cook until soft and almost paste like, 30 to 40 minutes.
2. Place potatoes in the pot; add chicken broth. Adjust heat so mixture simmers slowly. Cook until potatoes are soft, about 30 minutes. Puree mixture with an immersion blender or in batches in a blender. Whisk in heavy cream and creme fraiche. Heat over medium heat. Add more salt, if needed, and cayenne pepper. Do not boil.
3. Serve with a drizzle of creme fraiche and a sprinkle of chopped chives.

Here's a video of a chef that really follows the recipe.

New Year and New(ish) Blog

        So, here is my first attempt at a second shot. I recently read an interesting article in the National MS Society's magazine Momentum that deals with balance issues and how to help with them. Now, balance is one of my worst symptoms, and I know that I'm not alone in that. So, I thought that I'd give a brief summary and highlight, what to me are, the most important parts. 

     First, the article gives a very clear explanation of how easily MS can sabotage balance. Basically, since balance uses so many parts of one's CNS (central nervous system), and MS damages the CNS the chances of causing balance issues is very high. The article then explains how physical therapy can help, but that is up to the patient and a doctor, or therapist, to develop exercises that fit one's own balance issues. 
     Next it mentions a thing called, "Vestibular Rehabilitation," which seems that it might work, but, since it focuses more on inner ear complications with balance, would only work for a very small subset of patients with MS. It also briefly mentions using a device that is a type of treadmill that makes one feel lighter, the Alter-G.
     But, the most interesting part, as well as one that I am going to try to implement for myself, was to combine four different types of exercises: breathing, stretching, relaxation, alignment. I plan using these four, along with an already prepared regimen, set up by my physical therapist, to help me maintain and hopefully improve my current balancing issues.

     I am not going to sugar coat this.

It's going to be tough. 

But, I am going to do it!